My Weekend

What a weekend.  So I ended up changing my plans - I had too much work to go to dinner with M Friday night, so he finally gave in and told me what was in the packages.  I know you, too, are biting your nails waiting to find out.  He told me it was frivolous and something I would never guess and he was right.  He had an entire Thanksgiving dinner shipped on dry ice.  Now to eat it!!  Yum.  One year when W and I lived alone and I was an undergrad at UO still, we were really (really) poor, like food stamps poor.  We had Thanksgiving meatloaf.  I don’t see anything wrong, personally, with Thanksgiving meatloaf, but when I told M that story, he thought it was crazy — we were having drinks at Sullivan’s, and he even asked the waitress, “Have you ever heard of eating meatloaf for Thanksgiving dinner?”  At any rate, he was right - I would have never guessed that he would have a Thanksgiving dinner shipped to him, but I can’t wait to eat it!  He did confess that he already ate the cake.  That’s good - I can’t afford the calories anyway.  I still have 20 lbs. to lose!

I had a horrible night last night.  I heard that my very dear friend, The Butterfly Temptress, was transferred to the ICU.  I cried and cried and cried and then took enough Benadryl to put a horse to sleep and tried to escape through sleep.  Ultimately I just had weird dreams and horrible nightmares.  I woke up this morning to hear that she is off the ventilator and breathing on her own.  She has to get better, you see we have so much to do still!  Please send your good vibes, prayers, karma or whatever it is that you send to people her way.  One of the worst feelings in the world is knowing that no matter what you do, you can’t change the outcome.  This is one of the reasons I freaked out last night — it reminded me of Cindy’s last hours of life, where there was just nothing I could do to keep her alive.  Again and again I am reminded that we can kid ourselves all we want, but we have no control over life at all.  For a control freak like me, this is always the harshest lesson the Universe tries to teach me again and again.  I hate not being able to do anything to change the path she is on.  I hate myself for not going to visit her November 1st like I said I was going to.

Well, back to work for me.  My house has officially become a disaster and something has to be done!  I keep thinking I should really find a nice sissy maid to come and help me out… any volunteers? :)

xxxooo to Butterfly Temptress.  I’m thinking of you every second of every minute.