Entries Tagged 'Weight Loss' ↓

So yesterday I wrote a post about my approach to quitting smoking, and it occurred to me that I could write the exact same type of post to answer all those questions I get in my inbox about my weight loss.

• “How did you lose the weight?” (hard work)
• “Did you follow a program?” (my own)
• “Did you have a gastric bypass?” (nope)
• “Have you tried hypnosis?” (no, journaling)
• “What about weight loss pills?  Weight Watchers?  Jenny Craig (et. al)?” (none of the above)

Well, here’s how it goes.

1.  I am conscious of every single calorie that goes in my mouth down to the 5 calories in a piece of gum or the 15 calories in a packet of Crystal Light.  I know that there are 490 calories in my Starbucks drink and if I choose to drink it, I’m replacing lunch with a drink.  I know that there are 220 calories in a McDonald’s sweet tea and if I choose to drink it, I’m drinking liquid calories.  Those calories don’t come off easy.  Don’t be a pussy.  That’s right.  I am serious.  Don’t do it.  Suck it up.  Part 2 of this is:

2.  I am conscious of every single calorie I burn when I work out.  I pay close attention to my heart rate, I watch the digital readout like it’s the stock market ticker at the bottom of CNBC as the calories tick away.  I can tell you that running for 45 minutes can be worth a sweet tea.  It can also not be worth it.  It helps to make choices knowing just what you’re getting yourself in to.

3.  Make time to journal.  I write the date, how much I weigh, and how much of a net loss I’ve seen, so today’s entry, for example starts with Wednesday, December 10, 2008 (140 lbs: -130 lbs.).  Things that may seem unimportant in weight loss turn out to be really big issues and you never know how a journal entry will go.  If you have nothing to write, then write that.  “I have nothing to write.  This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.  How is writing in this stupid book going to keep me from eating oreos?”  and pretty soon you have a journal entry.  Trust me.  I started journaling in 1992 after my helicopter crash and it is a true life skill I think more people should utilize.

4.  Set small goals.  I started with 150 lbs. to lose.  There is no way one can set a goal for 150 lbs.  The number is unattainable in that dose.  I always set goals ten lbs. at a time.  I want to get to 139.  From there I can work my way down to my next goal, 129.

5.  Acknowledge plateaus.  They aren’t an excuse, however,  They happen because your body is beginning to act like a normal human body - you put food in, it expends energy.  Nothing really changes.  This is when you need to use your secret weapon — hold something back for these moments.  Add yoga to your workout.  Walk just one extra lap around your apartment complex.  Run just one more song.  Eventually you will win the battle between your body and your mind.

6.  Change the way you look at food.  Are you really deprived because you can’t eat french fries and burgers?  Most women I know who respect themselves would consider a meal at McDonald’s to be slumming it.  Why would you lament the loss of something that most Americans, despite their habit of eating there, look down upon?

7.  Eat smart!  There isn’t anybody in America who can claim ignorance when it comes to a healthy diet.  Everybody knows that you are supposed to eat foods that are lean, high protein, healthy carbs, lots of fruits and vegetables, raw foods, and water.  Seriously, is there anybody who really thinks that eating fast food, big portions, and greasy meals is a good idea?  It’s easy, I’ll give you that, but so is a bowl of cereal.  This leads to number 8.

8.  If necessary, be lazy about meal preparation.  Lazy used to mean that we went to McDonald’s or we ordered pizza.  Lazy now means that we eat oatmeal, a bowl of cereal, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or scrambled eggs for dinner.

9.  Get off your ass.  Yes, I said it.  Get off your fat, lazy ass.  I mean that to myself as much as to anybody.  I’ve been slacking lately as I have had a thousand excuses for not running or doing my ab routine.  It’s that simple.  If you are afraid to join the gym, like I was at 270, then walk around your neighborhood at 3 am with your ipod and your cell phone.  I call people on the West Coast and catch up with them while I’m walking around and around in circles.  If you can muster up the energy to give it a try, do some yoga.  I think yoga is better than walking.  Doctors always tell people to walk, but I would recommend starting with yoga any day of the week.  FitTV has Namaste Yoga and Oxygen has Inhale.  Namaste is more for beginners and Inhale is more an aerobic yoga program.  If nothing else, there are all kinds of programs on PBS and online.  Just do something!  Eventually work your way up to being brave enough to try out the gym.  Yes, it’s scary.  You are convinced that everyone there is looking at you wondering what a fatass like you is doing in the gym and thinking to themselves that you will, of course, fail within weeks.  That’s actually not them, that’s you.  They are actually thinking, “Awesome, good for you!”  Nobody has ever been mean to me in a gym.  People genuinely appreciate your effort there.

10.  Once again, just like I said with my post about quitting smoking, I think there are times in life when you have to decide that you are taking control of your life.  Pills and medical interventions are an option.  They were not an option for me.   In the end, pills and surgery don’t heal the pain that causes the endless pit of hungry for most people who eat too much.  The only cure for fat is you.  You are the only thing holding you back.  “What will my husband say?  Will he be mad?  My family doesn’t want to eat broccoli and chicken…”  You know what I say to that?  Fuck them.  Let them cook their own dinner.  If you are cooking healthy meals and they choose not to eat it, then they make that choice, but as soon as you give in to it, you are a participant in that choice.  You are the only one that decides what you eat, where you stop, what groceries you buy, what you cook for dinner.  You are the only one who can do it.  You are the only one holding yourself back.  So the question becomes, why are you holding yourself back?  What are you afraid of?

So I quit smoking on Sunday, December 7th at 3:00 pm.  Yes, I know to the minute when my last cigarette was.  Marky and I went out for brunch at 300 East and I ate the most delicious Brioche French toast and apple-flavored bacon and got in the car to leave, lighting my last cigarette ever.   It was after I put it out that I realized it was my last cigarette and I lamented not having smoked it down to the butt, getting every last bit I could, but qué será será.

I quit smoking before.  When I was pregnant with my first child, W, in 1994 I quit smoking and didn’t smoke for a few years after she was born.  If I recall, I went to spend Christmas with my family, drank a lot of wine and ended up smoking cigarettes with them.  I quit smoking again when I was 30 and in graduate school.  I wanted to move up in the world and quite frankly, smoking was seen as very trashy in my circle and I was concerned about shedding my trashy roots.  I didn’t smoke cigarettes again until I moved to Ohio and made my first trip to Spain.  How can one not smoke in Spain - it’s part of the culture.  It’s still considered polite to offer a cigarette out of your cigarette case to those around you.  I thought I would quit when I returned to the United States, but I didn’t.  Then I said I would quit when I moved to Charlotte.  I didn’t.  I quit saying I was going to quit.

For the last several months I’ve thought about quitting, but I haven’t really spoken about it.  I’m like this when contemplating big life decisions - I will stay awake nights thinking and journaling, and then what seems very sudden to people is actually something very thought through and planned.  This announcement that I’ve quit smoking is one of those decisions.  I’ve thought of it for a while now, especially after losing 130 lbs., it makes more sense than ever to quit smoking.  Running is something I really enjoy.  If I give up smoking cigarettes, I can afford the heart monitor I am required to own to join the gym I want to join.  Therefore, following logic, by choosing to quit smoking I am choosing to go running every day, thereby being healthier and losing the final 20 lbs. I have to lose.  Win-Win.

Aside from my own personal reasons for quitting smoking, I’d like to especially honor my good friend The Butterfly Temptress, who is fighting cancer.  Though not related to cigarettes, watching her battle with cancer has solidified my fear of the inevitable path I face if I continue to smoke cigarettes another day.

Now I have to take the same discipline and toolbox to quitting smoking that I did to losing the weight.  I have my own tricks.  Here are some of them.  For others, see “Fifty Quitting Tips,” which is found on WhyQuit.com.  It is bookmarked in my browser!  Whatever you do, avoid the US Government’s smokefree.gov page.  They suggest moronic tools like, “Swimming, jogging, playing tennis, bike riding, or shooting baskets. It’s hard to smoke and do these things at the same time. How about walking your dog?” To be honest, I would like to be alone in a room for five minutes right now with the fucking asshole who suggests I go play tennis or shoot some hoops to get through a craving.  I have serious anger about this.  That’s the withdrawl monster talking… she’s mean!  According to the American Cancer Society, withdrawl symptoms common in the detoxing of smokers are:

• dizziness (which may only last 1 to 2 days after quitting)
• depression
• feelings of frustration, impatience, and anger
• anxiety
• irritability
• sleep disturbances, including having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, and having bad dreams or even nightmares
• trouble concentrating
• restlessness
• headaches
• tiredness
• increased appetite

I’ve experienced every single one of these in the last three days.  This is no fun.  However, it is temporary, and I think it’s important to recognize the finite period of time that this is going to be unpleasant.  So without further adieu, here is my short list of Catalina Says: How to Quit Smoking.  It might actually get quite long as I find myself craving a cigarette by just writing it!

1. One trick is to keep yourself occupied.  Writing blog posts is tricky - because I am used to smoking while writing, so this is an exercise in retraining myself to live as a non-smoker.  Thinking of yourself as a non-smoker is an important key to success, if you ask me.
2. Don’t even attempt to begin if you are on the fence.  The devil on your shoulder will win every time.  You have to be 100% all in on the ex-smoker thing.  You have to think of yourself as an ex-smoker, non-smoker, and successful from the first cigarette craving you deny!  Every denied craving is a success.  You become AA for cigarettes.  Your life becomes all about getting through each day one craving at a time.  If you aren’t ready to commit, don’t bother.
3. Forget patches and gum.  If you are serious about quitting, then you will see why this is nonsense.  Withdrawl sucks.  It sucks for a few days.  It doesn’t have to suck entirely, it’s just really unpleasant.  Unless you are seriously a pussy, you can deal with it cold turkey.  I really think patches, gums, and pills are just another addiction you have to deal with.  Why trade in one for the other?  Nicotine addiction comes in two parts - the addiction and the habit.  The addiction is over in 3 days.  Period.  Scientific studies have shown that the withdrawl symptoms really peak at 3 days.  The hard part is breaking that Pavlovian (learned) instinct to grab for a cigarette when you get in the car, when you sit down to write a blog post, when you’re lying in bed at night, first thing in the morning, etc.  That’s you and your brain and you can only change it through conscious choice.
4. Sleep as much as possible in the beginning. Take some Benadryl and and go night-night.  Remember that 12 hours asleep during withdrawl means you aren’t having to deal with cravings!  If possible, just take more Benadryl and go back to sleep.  Remember - I’m not a doctor nor an addiction specialist.  I just think that a couple of days of Benadryl is worth the long-term effects of getting through the first 72 hours.
5. Tell everybody you know.  Twitter it, text it, email it, post about it.  People from all over the world will offer you support and support is key to quitting.  Having all those people tell you they are proud of you will make you feel very good about your decision.  Now is the time for that positive, cheesy, I’m proud of you bullshit.
6. Stay away from friends who are smokers for a while.  Just tell them you’re quitting and you can’t be tempted.  Nobody will think you’re an asshole.  It’s like an alcoholic who has to keep his distance from the bar.  Until you can be around cigarettes and find them stinky and yucky, you have to stay around people who you are friends with who smoke.  They will understand, I promise.
7. Acknowledge cravings and that they suck.  Say it out loud.  I really wish I had a cigarette right now.  I want to just reach to the left and grab a cigarette and light it and even just have it sitting there in the ashtray as I write this blog post.  Yes, that’s a true statement.  I look for them to be there, to the left.  They aren’t.  I actually looked through my night table last night without realizing it, my hand automatically reaches for that pack of cigarettes.  So acknowledge it, recognize it, grieve it even, but ask yourself, “How is smoking a cigarette going to make this a better moment?”  It really isn’t.  Like when I’m stressed, I reach for a cigarette, and now ask, “How is smoking this paper and tobacco going to change the fact that I still have a press list to organize for the press release that needs to go out?”  Again, the answer - it isn’t.  It changes nothing.  It has no impact whatsoever on the situation that is causing me stress.
8. Don’t be a pussy.  No, seriously.  Don’t be a pussy.  You have a choice.  Do you control your behavior or does your behavior define you?  I found this especially useful in controlling my eating behavior.  Just who is running the show?  I want… I want… I want…. well, then stop being a pussy and do it.
9. Wash all your clothes and bedding and light incense all over your house and even in your car.  Get rid of the smell that will soon be repugnant to you.  You will wonder how other people managed to be near you after you smoked.
10. Go for the instant reward - invest in teeth whitening strips (if you can’t afford to go to the dentist for the good stuff).  Make your smile prettier.  Think of all the little rewards you can have now because you don’t smoke.  I like stuff!  A lot!  I’m happy to spend money on something that I’m not throwing in the garbage at the end of the day.  My first reward for quitting smoking is very strategic - I am going to buy really pretty Holiday cards.  Writing in them and sending them out is a good way to keep myself busy to meet my next goal, which is my midterm reward of buying a heart monitor and then finally my long-term reward of my year membership at the gym down the street.

There you go.  I’m starting to count my smoke-free time in days now rather than in hours.  That has to count for something. 3 days and counting!

I love you, Marky! (Image from PostSecret.com)

I won’t be writing much yet.  I’m still trying to catch up from being in NYC for the weekend and I haven’t really stopped all day.  I need to go for a walk but it’s so fucking cold outside.  What the hell?  Tomorrow I have to go to the gym and go running, as in I will make time for it and do it.  I gained 5 lbs. in NY, and I don’t regret a single calorie of it, but I have to lose it and then some!  I ate like a pig - NYC Pizza at 3:00 am with the owners of Njoy, a hotdog wrapped in bacon and deep fried with avocado and sour cream and drinks in a secret bar with the owner of VibeReview.com, and lots and lots of brie with Tess.   Jamye was ridiculously nice and let me stay at her place which was just off the train and made it easy to hop, skip, and jump into Manhattan to meet up with Natt Nightly for brunch and shopping.   I ate chicken apple sausage, eggs, potatoes, a biscuit with butter, and a corndog and pink lemonade!  In retrospect, I should be grateful that I only gained 5 lbs.  Man!

I really regret not having enough time to even meet up with Dacia for drinks - by the time it could have happened I had just returned from the city and was freezing and exhausted and just couldn’t go back across to Manhattan.  I know, when last you heard I was going to be staying with her - but then I found out she had a roommate moving in and I didn’t want to add to her chaos and so I stayed with Jamye.  I am sad that we didn’t get to hang out on her couch and talk for hours — on my next visit!   I’m definitely returning.  I feel as though I’ve made lifelong friends and just begun to get to know others.  There is so much to do now.

I met so many amazing people.  I could just list them off, but I think I’ll savor each story for a different post.  I’d like to keep the feeling I had in NYC alive as long as possible.

Thank you, you know who you are, for making this the best trip ever!

Image from PostSecret.com

So I’ve decided what to wear to the party, thanks to Nikki and her fantastic selection of kinky clothes!  I get to wear my favorite dress and corset — now to beg, borrow, or steal some hot shoes to go with it!  I already raided W’s closet and snagged all her clothes that I like.  It still shocks and amazes me when I wear her little clothes — one pair of jeans is a size 1 and the rest are size 2.  My original goal was to be a size 6, so I think I’ve exceeded my own expectations.  Yet, as far as my actual weight goal I have lost 140 lbs., I have 20 more lbs. to lose.  Maybe I’ll end up a size 0.

Today is all about wrapping up loose ends and packing.  I have to get a manicure today, can’t exactly go to NYC without that!  I’m a little nervous about the whole trip, mostly just because these are women I’ve admired since the very first words I wrote on my blog!  I think it will be a blast.

I really like traveling.  I’m one of those people who actually arrives at the airport two hours early so I can sit and observe people, work on my laptop, read a book, listen to my iPod… it’s an oddly soothing place to me.  I have always enjoyed airports for some reason, I love to go in the stupid little stores and look at all the ridiculous crap they try to sell.  As the survivor of a fatal helicopter crash, I figure my odds of crashing twice in my lifetime are pretty fucking low.  I feel like the lucky charm on the airplane. :-)

So back to packing.  Where is that strap on?

Another Great Postcard From PostSecret.com

My life is weird.  I’ll admit that.  I spend my days talking to latex retailers, adult baby diaper manufacturers, crossdresser clothing designers, fetish models, and sex writers.  That’s not normal.  It is fun, though!

I am so looking forward to tonight.  I’m meeting M for dinner and drinks.  Aside from that, there is some secret package there that I haven’t been able to guess all week - what comes in 4 boxes with a sum total of 70 lbs. that M would have ordered??  I hate suspense!  It will be great to get away for a few hours.  Next weekend I will be in NYC! That’s almost impossible to believe!!

Saturday I think I’m not doing anything, but Sunday I’m going for my weekly French toast with The Dude and then a very special evening with Mr. Johnson.  He also has something up his sleeve, and I’m curious what he’s up to!

Countdown to NYC: 6 days!  I leave on Thursday, the party is Friday, and then I’ll spend the rest of the weekend hanging out with my favorite New Yorkers.   Mostly I’m stressed because I don’t know what to wear!  What a dilemma.  I know this complaint may make some of you throw tomatoes at the screen, but all of my clothes are too big for me - I am wearing W’s size 1 jeans.  Marky says I have to stop losing weight, but I have 20 lbs. to go still!  I’ve lost an entire person - 140 lbs.  None of my corsets fit anymore, and I need to get a coat.  I hear that there are places where it’s cold in November.  Here in Charlotte it’s still in the 70’s most days, and I’m cold!

Have you bought your calendar yet?  If not, get on it!  If you ask me nice, I’ll arrange to get it signed by all 12 ladies for you ;-)  And now I’m off for a nice 3 mile run.

Whew!  What a day.  It started off with some asshat posting a comment on my HNT today that I look like a man.  Really?  I think sometimes people have no manners and/or their parents never taught them the Golden Rule.  Either way, I think mean people suck.  That’s okay - all the positive comments people left more than made up for it, John said I look hot, and Lochai said he liked the set.

I’m unbelievably excited to go to NYC next month.  Thanks to Mr. Johnson!!  I’ll be leaving Charlotte on Nov 13th and returning on Nov 16th to be in NYC for the Sex Blogger Calendar Launch Party.  You should pre-order your calendar, because I have a feeling they are going to sell out.   I’m giddy like a kid who finds out they are going to Disneyland.  I’ve never been to NYC before, so it’s an adventure in and of itself, and then to meet these amazing people - men and women - is over the top unbelievably cool.  Tess and Diva invited me to snuggle up between them in bed at the W one night, and I’m looking forward to that!!  Who wouldn’t?  Hot, sexy, and brainy = I’m in bloggerlove.  I do hope to get together with some other people while I’m there - I’ve talked to a few other people who aren’t involved in the calendar project that I’m going to make it a point to meet.  Expect at least a week’s worth of blogs and pictures from the adventure!  It’s just over a month away, it’s going to drive me insane!

Other things coming up I plan to attend:  Frolicon and Sex 2.0.   I would love to go to ShibariCon, but I just don’t see how it’s going to happen.  Frolicon is the weekend before Sex 2.0 and Sex 2.0 is the weekend of my wedding anniversary.  It won’t be the first time we can’t celebrate on the proper day - when I worked in a boarding school I was on duty the entire weekend of our second anniversary.  We’ll just celebrate another day.  Anybody else going?  It would be nice to connect.

Don’t forget to check out the Week In Kink - it just published on TheWeekInKink.com.  There are some new blogs in there, some really hot posts, and a lot of HNT (who doesn’t love HNT?!)  I bet you you’ll find something in there that tickles your fancy!  If you’d like to submit your favorite kinky post of the week (it doesn’t have to come from your blog, just something you liked, even) then please email me.  My email hasn’t changed since the beginning of time:  catalinaloves@gmail.com.

This has to be a short post - it’s been a long day and I’m tired!!  I’m thinking it’s time to get off and go to sleep.  I ran 3.5 miles today, which is the farthest I’ve ever run at once.  Tomorrow I’m going to run 3.6 miles.  I’m an overachiever - I set a goal and I always have to go past it.  Like this size 6 goal - I achieved it and now I want to be a size 4.  I swear to all the Gods that are reading sex blogs, I will be a size 4 when I hit NYC!  More yoga.  More running.  I have lost another 5 lbs., so I’m excited about those results.  The closer I get to my goal (119 lbs.,) the more difficult it is to lose one single pound!  When I reach 119, I will have lost 151 lbs. That’s fucking impressive! I have to say that it was really cool that one of the parents of a student I used to teach didn’t even recognize me.

It was a really good way to release some tension and stress and focus on the task at hand - my work for Fetlife.  I consider it my primary job more and more every day.  I don’t want to give up writing and doing promos, but Fetlife is clearly my primary job (buy an ad!)

I got a really neat note in my Fetlife.com inbox today from a (cute redheaded) guy who said, “…it was helpful to read your experiences as a bit of motivation, and to see that you DO look great after the weight loss.”  That’s kind of cool.  I’m glad to read that!  It motivates me even more, too.  Symbiosis.

Oh, if you’re curious, I uploaded new images to Fetlife.com - if you’re a member you can see them - a little preview from the nudes I shot with Nikki yesterday.   If you do join, please make friends and say hi.  I’m a really friendly person - don’t be scared :)

Night night - Chris Martin is going to serenade me to sleep with Lovers in Japan and Reign of Love.  If you still have not bought or downloaded Viva la Vida, then do it.  It is such an amazing album! (yawn)

One of my favorite students from years ago contacted me today - he’s in college now and he’s getting his life together, or at least trying to.  I love that kid.  He was one of “my” kids.  I worked in a boarding school, so the kids naturally gravitated towards the faculty homes where they felt comfortable, and that meant that Jack was at our house a lot!  It’s neat to see kids turn into adults.  I will miss that about teaching, though I won’t miss teaching.  He knew me at 270 lbs., so he saw my new pics and said, “You should be a model!” Funny kid - tomorrow I’m doing a set of art nudes with Nikki and Friday a wedding set with a new photographer.  So I guess he’s right!  I saw his pics and couldn’t believe that the kid I knew has turned into a man.  Weird.

Other interesting things: Violet Blue is joining the BestSexBloggers.com blog.  I’m pretty excited about that and owe it all to Lochai, who again has brought me closer yet into his circle.  I am very fortunate to have Lochai in my life, even if he is 3 time zones away!

Also of interest: Vladimir Putin is putting out a new Judo DVD.  I mention this because Vladimir Putin is on my list of Men I’d Like To Fuck.  Yes, I know he’s kind of evil.  But he’s also really powerful and that turns me on.  He did drop a couple of points in the ranks when he shot a tiger, but even that won’t stop me from wanting to fuck Vlad (and he said he only shot that perfect big kitty because he was protecting the camera crew).

I’m trying to get together an airline ticket to make it to the NYC Sex Blogger 2009 Calendar party on November 14th.  I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but I’m really trying to make it happen.  I want to hang out with my NYC Blogger friends!  I am planning to go to Frolicon in April, but that’s a ways off and the weekend after that is Sex 2.0 in DC.  I am planning to carpool with Ellie and Jay and with any luck, we’ll share a room ;-)

Well, it’s time for me to jump in the shower and put on my MILFtastic look.  W has a volleyball game today at her school and I plan to be there looking fabulous.

Special good wishes to my friends, The Urban Gypsy and The Urban Rogue, who are both dealing with issues far more serious than whether or not to wear the blue sandals or the high heels to the volleyball game.

Image dedicated to my friend Essin' Em (http://essin-em.com)

It’s a great day.  I got to sleep in, I published Peter Acworth’s interview, I cross-posted the Twitterific Contest Winner’s review on BestSexBloggers.com, I sent a few emails, and I’m about to take care of some more of them.  I have this set as my primary goal for the day - deal with email.

I decided to make it a goal to attend Frolicon in the spring.  It’s set for April 9-12, 2009 and Atlanta isn’t that far away.  What could be better than hanging out with fellow kinksters over Easter? Is anybody else planning to attend?  We stopped by their table yesterday at the Fetish Fair Fleamarket and i was pretty excited to see that they used one of the images from Altered Aperture for their postcard promo. Mark is so amazing that he walked away having sold them an ad for Fetlife.

I got to meet Tara from KJCanes.com, with whom I’ve spoken several times for Fetlife advertising.  She was at the Fetish Fair Fleamarket yesterday.  It was nice to put a face to the canes.   If you ever want to get in touch with me about advertising on Fetlife.com, my email is catalina@fetlife.com.

I’ve been corset shopping online as a little diversion to working online.  I said that when I got to a size 6 that I would have a corset custom made and now I’m there.  Now, though, I think I won’t have one made until I’m a size 4, but that gives me time to shop now.  Do you have a favorite corset maker?  Seamstress?  Know anybody who does it as a home-based business?  I really want a custom corset!

I just occurred to me today that it’s almost October.  There are some important things going on in October.  My sister’s birthday is in October, and although she no longer talks to me, I’ll be thinking about her on her 40th birthday.  I also have two friends taking major tests - The Dude is taking GRE and Laurel is taking the LSAT, so good luck to both of them!  After Laurel finishes the LSAT she’s flying out to stay for a week with us. She used to live with us back in Eugene.  I’m so excited I can barely contain myself.  W loves her, too - she was an important part of W’s life back in Eugene.  She very much imprinted on Laurel and we’re hoping that she follows Laurel’s path and be a beautiful, compassionate, well-traveled, highly intelligent, and very cool woman.  I’m hoping to set her up with M while she’s here.  I truly think they should be together.

…back to the inbox.  I’m looking forward to hearing from my friend, Ms. Sex in Stilletos, who did her first Kink.com shoot on Friday for FuckingMachines.com.  It will be a really interesting narrative.

Another Image From "Home" in Oregon

YAY!  Ellie is here!

Today was an interesting day.  It was supposed to go like this:  Fetish Fair Fleamarket, yoga with Susan and The Dude, and then home for an evening with or without Ellie and J, depending on whether or not they attend Purgatory tonight.  We figured it made sense for us to try to go on behalf of Quid Pro Quo, good PR for our own PR company.  Here’s how it went:  I drove to South Carolina to pick up W from a sleepover, canceled yoga with Susan and The Dude, went to the Fetish Flea Market and came home.  Ellie and J are still out and about and are thinking about going to Purgatory.  I know myself well enough to know that Purgatory isn’t my scene.

It was interesting that at the fetish event there was an entire workshop dedicated to a face-to-face meeting of people from a Fetlife.com group.  We didn’t even know that there was a Fetlife centered workshop.  We walked through the door, unsure we were in the right place, and introduced ourselves as being a part of Fetlife and sat down to listen to what they had to say.  It was neat to hear again and again how Fetlife has become a central part of their lives, a way to keep in touch on a daily basis with their family.  It was really quite touching.  I came home and told John all about it.  He couldn’t believe it, and then he received an email from someone who was at the workshop/meeting who had written to tell him how important Fetlife and how it has really meant a lot to them to have a place to feel at home.  Nice!  John, you are changing the world!

I found a few nice corsets at the fleamarket, but it was difficult to find my size.  Now WTF?! When I was a larger size I couldn’t find a nice corset that fit and now that I am small, I can’t find a corset that fits.  Today all the corsets were too big or the few I found that were 22″ were like $500.00.  If I’m going to invest that kind of money into a corset it’s going to be custom made for me.  Doesn’t it seem to you like someone should make a corset for me so that I can promote the fuck out of their corsetry business?  I would work for trade.  Hey you corset seamstresses - are you listening? :)

Cleis Press sent me Tristan Taormino’s new book, Opening Up, to review.  I have only heard good things about it and as a polyamorous soul married to a monoromantic, an open relationship can be a challenge - so not ony am I looking forward to a good read for the review, but also I am hoping to get something out of it personally.  Well, that’s where the best reviews come from, anyway - though a book can be good and still not really be appealing to you.

I dd hear from my NYC friends that they are all getting set for tomorrow’s shoot.  No alcohol, strict orders by the photographer will make for a less interesting evening, though if you put those 12 women in the same room, I don’t think it matters, the energy alone would be intoxicating!

Next week’s posts on Catalina Loves are going to be really good, if I do say so myself.  I have an interview with Kink.com CEO Peter Acworth, a very good toy review on Tuesday, Lochai starts his new job with Hogtied.com Monday, so there will be lots of Lochai news, there is an interview waiting for me to post from Sgt. Major, who is a Kink.com dom, but also owns his own site: BackdoorBondage.com.  I also have to write an interview for Madison Young, who sent me her new movie (w00t!) and hopefully Nikki will have some new images ready for me next week from our photoshoot this week.  That’s a lot of good stuff, and that’s off the top of my head, so set make sure you subscribe and get all the goodness that there is.

Alright, enough babble for now.  I swear upon all things holy that I will get through my email this weekend.  It’s become a huge priority at this point!

Click The Pic For The Secret To How I Lost Weight

So I went to the new yoga class today and it was terribly disappointing.  I felt like I was in an hour long stretch class, very gentle yoga with a nap at the end.  There was no shakti in the room, no energy to go with it.  Just a sterile gym with a lady who knows some poses.  I’m sure she’s a certified yoga instructor, but I think that if a yoga instructor can’t do downward dog with her feet flat on the floor, she probably shouldn’t be instructing.  I am a yoga snob, so it seems.  Back to Power Basics Vinyasa hot yoga on Saturday with the nice vibe at Yoga One.  I love the challenge of it, how I have to push my body beyond where I thought I could go because my mind limited me.  To overcome mental obstacles in yoga manifests in every day life all the time.  On a positive note about today’s adventure out to the new gym - the facility itself is really nice and I got to run for 2 miles after the yoga class, so I do feel like I got the energy boost I needed.

I’m really into reading Andreas Troeger’s books and watching his DVDs.  Take a look at TechnologyArtist.com and click on Buy DVDs.  No, it won’t automatically debit your account a bajillion dollars, it will just take you to the two DVDs that I’m going to watch and review for my blog.  I just need kid-free focus time to watch them, they look intense!  Included in my little surprise package (Thanks!!) were Troeger’s two books.  Click on Books on the left and you’ll find Anti Biography and Which Ones Are The Terrorists?  WestBank.cam, which are both equally compelling, but require even more time and focus.  So expect to see more about those soon, but not next week soon.

I found this article, called Nine Cold, Hard Weight Loss Truths on Divine Caroline today.  I’ve been reading that site a lot lately - like any magazine, there are some things there that I just will probably never read, but today I read this and I thought I would share it with you.  One of the most common email questions I get to my inbox is How did you lose all that weight? and the fact is, I did what everybody in the whole world knows how to do - I ate less and I exercised with purpose and intensity.  Anyway, take a look at the cold, hard truth.  It’s worth reading again.

Well, back to work.  W is home from her game tonight and then I have to run across town for an errand and back and then I still need to write something for CatalinaLoves.com and my article for TruFetish.com is due tomorrow.  Not to mention that I should write something current for The Femmes Guide and it would be at good manners to comment on a few of my favorite blogs! Tomorrow W stays the night with a friend and we’re expecting Ellie for a visit.  She’s here for the Fetish Fair Fleamarket where she’ll be doing a demo.  I will also be there, just to wander about and see what’s good.  If you’re planning to go, I hope to see you there!

Oh random - a package just arrived in the mail from Madison Young with her movie, Perversions of Lesbian Lust (Volume 1).  I’m pretty excited about that - on the back cover is a still from the movie and I said to Marky, “Oh, it’s her infamous ’sex mouth’ that you love.” You have to know the exact look to know what I mean, but Mz Berlin comes close in this image.  Anyway, I am so hot for Madison Young I can’t stand it!  I know what I’ll be watching tonight!