Entries Tagged 'Blogs' ↓
December 29th, 2008 — Advice, Affiliate Programs, Blogs, Photos, Stuff and Things
Once you cross streams, you can never go back when it comes to your identity. I’ve not just crossed streams, but I’ve walked in them and skipped rocks across them. Just the other day I sent an email to the participants of my kinky elf project, providing my real name and address to my office so that products could be shipped to me, and signed it as Catalina. “How silly,” I thought to myself, “I’ve just told them my name and address and then sign it with my online name.”
Who I am depends on who I am talking to these days. I’ve found myself asking in the last several weeks, “Who am I?” or “How do I sign my name to this?” as the many parts of my persona are integrated into one. I am Kate to some, mostly those who knew me as a teacher or in graduate school. Officially with my M.A. at the end of my last name if I’m writing something that really matters. I am Kiki to some, mostly those who know me in real life or some version of it. Catalina was born out of desire to try to remain anonymous in the bloggosphere that was just randomly concocted by using my birth name, Kathleen and mixing it with my love of the Spanish language and culture - violá, Catalina. But how do I sign my Christmas cards?
If you don’t know this, I never planned on making a brand out of my name. It just kind of happened, which is neato, but was a surprise. Marky D Sade, whose real name is Marky, was working as the head fetish writer for a large company and I created a Myspace profile to flirt with him and try to increase his online presence by hyping up his comments. At the time, as a teacher, I didn’t want to use my real name. Those in the bloggosphere refer to their blog name while those in the BDSM scene do the same thing with their scene names — it’s an honor when people reveal their real names to you, at least it is to me. I feel as though I’ve crossed some boundary of intimacy and trust in which they can at least tell me their real name.
Now that I’m public - that is to say my friends and family know what I do for a living, it seems sillier and sillier to continue to call myself Catalina, and yet it is the brand I have created and as any good PR person will tell you, don’t change your brand. If Coldplay all of a sudden decided to become the Chris Martin Band, they would have real issues with branding and would certainly lose ground. I feel as though that’s the position I am in.
So why bother to give it another thought? Because, in fact I think there seems to be a legitimization in the process of revealing your real self to the public - to write anonymously vs. writing openly and putting your name to it. After all, if someone Google searches your name, what you write will be associated with it and that has to be considered - it’s almost as though you’ve signed your name to it in the eyes of the public whereas when you write anonymously you can write whatever the hell you want to and nobody will ever know it’s you. You can take potshots at others, you can lay it all out there without repurcussion, and maybe that’s not always a good thing.
So what are the drawbacks of publicly stating ones name aside from stalkers? Well, if your ex-husband is out to get you, it certainly makes it easier for him. If someone wants to question your morals or ethics, they can always make the argument that you put it out publicly for the world to judge. You could lose your job, no doubt, for what you write, and your family could shun you. I have heard through the family grapevine that my mom and sister have nothing nice to say to me after learning that I write Catalina Loves, so they’ve just chosen not to talk to me at all.
So maybe, with all that at stake, privacy seems a better option, certainly a safer option. How private is your blog though? Are you living behind the veil of anonymity? Let me throw this out there. How many bloggers do you think know that their identity was compromised if they are affiliates of two of the biggest sex toy companies on the internet? How many bloggers consider that the possibility even exists that this information could leak into the wrong hands and their identity could be published on the internet? How difficult would it be for those around you to figure out that your blog is you, if they found it? What’s likely to happen? What are the consequences of being discovered? Read Sex In The Public Square and find out what happened to Beautiful Rebecca after she was outted - if you don’t believe me - because the possible consequences are more than just theory and those who want revenge will dig deep to get it.
I’ve got nothing to lose. Google searches be damned. My name is Catalina, or Kate, or Kiki, depending on the context, and I am a sex blogger. Gasp. I write about sex. It’s pretty mild compared to most evil in the world, and yet it’s enough to make most people very uneasy to sign their name to. I officially sign my name to my blog. I am Kate Donahue.
December 22nd, 2008 — Altered Aperture, Blogs, Photos, Sugasm
December 18th, 2008 — Altered Aperture, BestSexBloggers.com, Blogs, Books, FetLife, Lochai, M, Madison Young, Movies, Mz. Berlin, NYC, Photos, Shopping, Stuff and Things, Toys, Updates
Photography by AlteredAperture.com
I’m a very lucky girl. I wake up to my husband, who has already gotten up before the alarm goes off and gotten the kids off to school and daycare without me even knowing it. No, it’s not my birthday (yet). It gets better. I don’t drink coffee first thing in the morning - the idea of drinking something hot when I wake up makes me gag, so he brings me a cold Diet Pepsi instead. I get snuggled awake and gently introduced to a new day. It’s just one of the nice things that Marky does every day for me. Funny that a sadist can be so sweet. I think it’s the combination that makes him so perfect, actually.
One week exactly until my birthday. I will be spending it in Alabama with Mark’s dad, stepmom, and something like 9 other people that I don’t know. This is the sucky part of having a Christmas birthday. No matter what, it’s still Christmas and my birthday is an afterthought. Imagine celebrating your 21st birthday with your grandparents and cousins at the kids table. Good times.
Let’s see, it’s getting late so the week’s synopsis:
- I’m in love with my new lipstick, recommended by Mz Berlin, who swore up and down repeatedly that I must own Black Honey lipstick from Clinique. She was right. It is the perfect lipstick. Mz Berlin rocks for beauty advice.
- I did a shoot with Altered Aperture on Monday, some of the images have been posted on Facebook, some on FetLife, some on my blog, and some on BestSexBloggers.
- I sent out tons of holiday cards.
- I got to talk to Lochai a couple of times.
- I spent a night away from the kids with Marky, a gift from a very dear friend of mine. We went to a nice hotel, had a private jacuzzi room, ate at Copper, and spend the entire night doing nothing (and then having great sex at like 5 am and sleeping in the next morning!) It was our first night away in 5 years. It was great. I want to write about it separately so that’s all I’ll say for now.
- I arranged for a very special Christmas surprise for Marky with a secret Santa cohort in New York City. He has no idea what it is, and will be very surprised to see it.
- I received a very nice book in the mail from a good friend who knew it was just what I needed!
- I started running again. I ran 2.25 miles, so I’ve lost some endurance and speed, but I will get it back.
- I worked on a secret Elf project that I can’t even hint about yet.
- I ate the best sushi with M on Friday night and hung out with him for the first time since I went to New York. It was great to hang out. He gave me a very nice bottle of Rioja that I’m taking to Alabama for my night away from the kids in the cabin. Anyway, I will really miss M if I don’t see him this weekend, so I’m hoping to have a chance to see him again this weekend before leaving for Alabama.
- I found out that a friend of mine is pregnant (this is good news for her!)
- I went out for French Toast with The Dude and then borrowed his vacuum cleaner and vacuumed my entire house. The Dude rocks, I’m telling you. Seriously. I think he has a girl at his place tonight. I texted him to ask if he had gotten laid. The fact that I got no response is a good sign.
- Izzabelle tells me that she’s coming to visit this weekend, I can’t wait to hang out with her!
- A former student of mine, who is just as adorable as can be, called and is going to be nearby to visit family and is coming to visit while he’s here. I taught him several years ago when I worked in the boarding school in Ohio. He was one of “our kids”. We love him like the teenage son we never had. Now he’s grown up and in college. How bizarre!
- I got a new movie from Madison Young to review, a Lelo Mia from VibeReview.com, and an entire shipment from SexToy.com of goodies to investigate and report on. I’ll write a separate post about it on Catalina Loves.
and now… I have to watch tonight’s Top Chef and go to sleep to get up and do it all again tomorrow. It’s late, or early, depending on how you see it. For me it’s late. Goodnight :)
October 31st, 2008 — Audacia Ray, BestSexBloggers.com, Blogs, Bondage, Fetish, Lochai, Madison Young, Mz. Berlin, NYC, Photos, Politics, Recommendations, The Week In Kink
Photos of Rachel Kramer Bussel by HilaryMcHonePhotography.com
Catalina’s Favorite Sex Blog Posts Of The Week! Vote on Tuesday for Obama!!
::psst… for more hot sex blog links go to Sugasm.com::
October 24th, 2008 — Blogs, Email, M, NYC, Stuff and Things
Who will be the lucky one? So Tess, Diva, and I (yes, mostly Tess) cooked up this plan to find ourselves some nice, submissive, servant, arm candy for the launch party - someone to get our drinks and help us in general. I posted about it on CatalinaLoves.com. The first response I got was Hilarious. You must read it. Also, I didn’t post it but some guy sent a picture of his freakishly huge cock (note: the ad specifically says no cock shots).
Aside from that, nothing weird really happened — run of the mill day minus dinner out with M. I think I may actually take some time off and try to enjoy an evening at home. I know, right?! Weird.
October 24th, 2008 — BestSexBloggers.com, Blogs, M, NYC, Quid Pro Quo, Stuff and Things, Updates
Hooray for Supergirl and Postsecret!
I was amazingly productive today. I contacted several people about joining BestSexBloggers.com. One blogger, Mollena, has already gotten all set up! You’ll like what she has to say. It’s worth noting that four people recommeded her blog in one week. I’m waiting to hear back from the others, but I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
I sent out the official NYC Sex Bloggers Calendar Launch Party Press Release. Whew, huge task completed. Worth it though. We are already having a good response on the RSVP list on Facebook. Oh and get this - Tess, Diva, Rebecca and I are staying the night together. You can read about it on Tess’ blog. Yum Yum. Can I add that I am lucky to be Catalina? Meet me at the party :) It will be fun.
No dinner/drinks with M tomorrow night. Sad, but he is working on a deal this weekend and that’s just how it goes sometimes. Next week we won’t get together either because he’ll be in NYC for the marathon. I’ll be watching on tv - maybe I’ll catch a glimpse of him - hopefully not on a stretcher ;-)
I also heard from Cindy’s aunt who is trying to work on family genealogy and scan anything I have, newspaper clippings and such, from the crash. I’m going to dig that stuff out tomorrow and see what gaps I can fill in for them. They were really nice. I still haven’t heard from her son, but I’m holding out hope that his Dad gave him my message and that he gets in touch.
And so that’s about it. Anyone interested in being a volunteer minion for some little tasks?
::yawn:: it’s 1:17 and I have to get some sleep.
October 22nd, 2008 — Blogs, FetLife, Stuff and Things, Updates
I haven’t really been able to write for a couple of days because I accepted the position of team leader of the greeters at Fetlife. It’s a huge task - 35 greeters from all over the world acting as a cohesive team - that’s a challenge, but one I’m up for and I’m really honored, yet again, to work along side of John.
I’ve also been working on a few other side projects, press releases, promos, and such. I’m actually cutting down on the number of pro-domme sessions, photoshoots, and blogs that I’m working on. I’d safely say no thank you to seconds, right now. My plate is full. Give me a few hours and I’ll be hungry again :)
What I need is a minion and a sissy maid.
In case you didn’t hear, I got my new glasses. Spoiler alert: Tomorrow’s HNT on CatalinaLoves.com is my new glasses. Shhh…
So that’s about it. Kids, Cats, Clients, Fetlife, and Blogs. What do people do who have a life?
October 19th, 2008 — Audacia Ray, BestSexBloggers.com, Blogs, Fundraising, NYC, Press Releases, Recommendations, Shopping, Stuff and Things, Updates
Meet Me In New York City!!
Join us for the launch party and buy a copy of the NYC Sex Blogger 2009 Limited Edition Calendar on Friday, November 14, 2008 from 6:30 pm - 9:30pm at The White Rabbit (http://www.whiterabbitnyc.com).
Meet the bloggers who made it happen, and ask really nicely and you might even get your calendar signed. While admission to our party is FREE and open to the public, there will be a cash bar (with Happy Hour prices till 9PM), raffle tickets and calendars to purchase so please come prepared with some green to show your support and join in the fun.
Twelve of New York City’s most dynamic literary and sex positive women, along with photographer Stacie Joy, and the sex blogging CommUNITY have collaborated to create the New York City SexBlogger 2009 Limited Edition calendar in order to support Sex Work Awareness (http://www.sexwork101.com). Sex Work Awareness is an organization that trains sex workers in media skills and educates the public about issues that affect people who work in the sex industry. 12 of NYC’s finest writers, sex educators, film makers, and ordinary women are determined to see the stigma associated with sex work and workers removed.
Included in the calendar are Audacia Ray, Desiree, Diva, Elizabeth Wood, Jamye Waxman, Luz Alptraum, Mariella Ella, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Riese, Sinclair Sexsmith, Tess Danesi, and Twanna A. Hines. A full biography of each calendar model is available at http://sexbloggercalendar.wordpress.com/about.
The first 100 guests to arrive will receive a FREE gift bag from Babeland! Aside from amazing burlesque performers and organic orgasm-worthy cookies from FreeFoodsNYC, you can purchase your very own copy of the calendar. In addition, to supplement our fundraising efforts we will have a raffle, and we encourage you to buy a raffle tickets. $2 for 1, $5 for 3 and $10 for 10 will give you a chance to win prizes that include an Njoy Eleven, a Liberator Ramp, a Liberator Throe, a Rolling Toy Trunk from ForYourNymphomation, and a Museum Signed Print “Ally Bound” by Lochai. The list grows daily. A complete list will be posted on the calendar blog (http://www.sexbloggercalendar.wordpress.com).
If you are unable to attend the launch party, you can still buy your limited edition copy of the calendar directly through the Sex Blogger Calendar website or here on Catalina Says (look to the right).
About the NYC Sex Blogger 2009 Limited Edition Calendar:
For the latest news, a complete list of bios of each sex blogger featured in the calendar, our sponsors, and our CommUNITY of friends, please visit the Sex Blog Calendar Website.
October 18th, 2008 — Altered Aperture, BestSexBloggers.com, Blogs, Bondage, Claire Adams, Fetish, Fundraising, Madison Young, Movies, Ms Nikki Nefarious, Mz. Berlin, Photos, Recommendations, The Week In Kink
Trust Me... Does That Look Like A Girl Who Would Steer You Wrong?
Catalina’s Favorite Sex Blog Posts Of The Week! Thanks to Altered Aperture who makes me all pretty and then captures it on camera time and time again.
::psst… for more hot sex blog links go to Sugasm.com::
October 16th, 2008 — BestSexBloggers.com, Blogs, FetLife, M, Ms Nikki Nefarious, NYC, Quid Pro Quo, Recommendations, Reviews, Satine Phoenix, Stuff and Things, The Dude
If you are curious to see what I look like these days, I posted a picture of myself on BestSexBloggers.com today. Don’t be frightened, Dude, it doesn’t show any of my private parts, just the shadow of my lovely bum.
I had quite the experience at Wal-Mart today. I finally had to get my glasses replaced. If you aren’t aware of it, they are presently held together by a bungeeish cord that is kind of rainbow pattern, like a kid’s shoelace almost. Yes, it’s quite sexy. I tend to try to avoid wearing them in public, but since I can’t see much without them, that is difficult. I generally depend on M to order for me when we eat out, since I can’t see the menu. Besides, I like it that he orders for me. Yes, I’m a feminist damnit. I still like it when M orders for us both.
I digress… I was at Wal-Mart today to have an eye exam and get new glasses. Now I have to wait a week for them since I have coke bottle lens prescriptions that have to be special made. Um, did I mention I’m a nerd? So I went for the classic black, square frame, plastic frames. I think they’ll be perfect. Hey, at least The Dude will stop telling me that I look like a Mom who is about ready to do the 5k Fun Run.
Over on CatalinaLoves.com today you’ll find my latest rave about Liberator products. I wrote a review of the Fascinator Throe and it is a great product. The nice thing about reviewing for really great companies like Lelo.com and Liberator.com is that their products are so good it makes it unbelievably easy to write a review. All I have to do is open my mouth (metaphorically speaking) and out pours the praise. You just can’t go wrong with either company!
And that’s about it. I have to work on Fetlife projects the rest of the evening and then I’m going to watch some tv and go to bed. Tomorrow, Nikki is coming over to work with me on some projects I’m going to be handing off to her for Quid Pro Quo. As we grow, we need to grow, so Nikki is officially coming on board to work with Satine Phoenix. After that I’m going out for my regular Friday night in Uptown with M. Not sure where we’re going yet, but there isn’t a place he would choose that isn’t going to be fantastic. I kind of like that element of surprise actually, all I know is how to dress and to be there at 8pm. The rest is unknown.
27 Days Until I Arrive In NYC!! Mark your calendars for Nov. 14th so you can come to the launch party and say hi to me (and buy a calendar!)
